My body needs the food to survive, but my mind struggles with how much I need, and what kind of food I need. Yes, I did just compare a drug addict to myself.
"My name is Annalise and I am a Food Addict."
My body needs the food to survive, but too much can kill me. That is the same with anything, I mean, even too much water can kill you. So my first step in my journey to a healthy and fit life, is learning moderation.
This is going to be the most difficult part for me.
Growing up, my mom was always on a "DIET". (I hate that word by the way.) I watched her eat really well for a few weeks or so and then back to where she started. And I have followed right in her foot steps. I am a regular Diet Failure!!
When my mom and dad would come home from the grocery store with Twinkies and Ding Dongs, chips, and other so called "food for our school lunches", they would put it in the freezer out in the garage thinking that if it was frozen we wouldn't eat it. Well, I just learned to love frozen Twinkies and Ding Dongs. I can see myself right now standing in the freezer stuffing my face with the frozen drug and thinking I had to eat as many as possible because I didn't know when they would buy them for us again. Why was I so greedy?? Sad thing is, I still am.
Today at the age of 37 I will go to the grocery store and buy a tub of ice cream and eat as much of it as I can before my husband comes home. Why?? Because I am afraid he will come home and eat it all before I get what I want. Wow, typing that out and reading it out loud makes me think I need to talk to a therapist. How do I change that?? Well, my husband suggests just not to bring the crap into the house to begin with and well, that is a good start, how do I change my frame of mind to not want to buy it?? This is so much more confusing then I first thought.
I need to sleep on this and figure out how to change it!!
Any suggestions would be great.
